Letošnje leto na Škofijski klasični gimnaziji je posvečeno Stanetu Kregarju, Prešernovem nagrajencu, ki je pred ukinitvijo delovanja Škofijske klasične gimnazije deloval kot profesor risanja na gimnaziji. Njemu v čast je uredništvo Domačih vaj priredilo literarni natečaj, na katerega so se prijavili avtorji s pesmimi in kratkimi zgodbami na tematiko Kregajevega delovanja in časa.
Med prejetimi deli je najbolj izstopala kratka zgodba izpod rok maturantke Aline Žerovnik z naslovom Uliksesova pot v domovino. Začetek dela si lahko preberete v spodnjem besedilu, celotna zgodba pa bo objavljena v literarnem zborniku Domače vaje.
Jana Semprimožnik
ULIKSESOVA POT V DOMOVINO
Danes se vračam nazaj …
Nazaj v znano okolje, ki je danes grenko.
Občutek je, kot bi mi nekdo zlival tujo kri v grlo.
Umazano kri;
kri mučencev, katerih duhovi ne najdejo miru in tavajo in tavajo …
Vrnil sem se v hišo, kjer sem preživel lep del otroštva do njegovega naglega konca. Kar nekega dne, brez opozorila, brez časa, da bi vzeli svoje imetje, ne da bi se poslovili, poslovili od svoje nedolžnosti, nevednosti in brezskrbnosti. Toda zdaj sem tu, nazaj. Nisem si mislil, da se bom kdaj vrnil sem, a sem tu, tu, od koder se ne bom več vrnil domov. Domov? Dom? Nekaj časa je bila ta hiša moj dom, a danes ne več. Danes je moj grob. Moj grob prerani in mojih rojakov nepravični grob.
Spet sem se vrnil k svetemu Stanislavu. Toda danes nas prežema občutek, kot ga ne bi bilo več, nas je zapustil? Nas je zapustil sam Bog? Je to mogoče? Oh, seveda je, zagotovo je zapustil one, ki so nas privedli sem, one, s katerimi smo bili prej en narod, povezan pod eno krono, tujo krono, a skupno krono. Zdaj smo nič. Razdeljeni zaradi boja, boja za kaj? Za koga? Zagotovo ne Zanj. V tem boju Ga ni. Ne želi biti tu, a z menoj vseeno je. Njegovo veliko, očetovsko oko gleda name, nemočnega v boju, gladi si svojo belo brado in se sprašuje, kaj smo storili, kaj smo storili bratu, očetu, kaj smo storili prednikom, ki so stremeli k enotnosti, k enotnosti naroda, ki je bil skozi zgodovino prezrt. Je bilo prav, da so nas večji prezrli, za nas odločali in nam odvzeli enovitost? Je smrtna razdeljenost in krvavi boj res največ, kar zmoremo? Največ? Je to res največ??
Premnogo Trpečih nas je bilo v sobi, v kateri sem se nekoč učil latinskega jezika. Sedeli smo za mizami in zapisovali prevode klasikov. Učili smo se, kot da nam bo to znanje kdaj prišlo prav, kot da bomo v svojih zadnjih urah razmišljali o dom-iščočem Odiseju in njegovi zvesti Penelopi, ali pa o zaljubljenih sonetih.
Naš vsakdan so zdaj hirajoča telesa ob stenah, pasji tuleži tistih, ki so obupali nad življenjem in razkrajajoča se trupla izgubljenih. Vonj krvavega mesa, zalepljenega na umazano blago razcapanih oblačil, to je naša stalnica in lakota, ki je kriva za naša izbočena rebra.
Neznosno je življenje tukaj, to, kar počnemo tukaj, ni življenje, to tukaj je odmiranje, odmiranje duš. A te duše, naše duše ne nehajo hrepeneti, ne nehajo se ozirati na svetlobo prihodnosti, na zlat sončni vzhod in brstenje travnika, ki z jutranjo roso umiva bele podplate nedolžnih teles. A vse to nam je z vsakim dnem tu manj zagotovljeno.
Alina Žerovnik
© 2018 Zavod sv. Stanislava. Vse pravice pridržane.
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