Dragi E-bralci našega kultnega Kavča.
Korona obdobje je res zelo čuden čas. Če se ne motim so lanskega marca po televiziji rekli, da bomo doma ostali največ 14 dni, pa smo še kar doma. Vem, sliši se grozno, a človek nekako sprejme ta ritem, ki ga stavek narekuje. Novembrsko številko Kavča tako izdajamo aprila. Kot vedno bi se rad zahvalil ekipi revije Kavč, ki je pomagala pri oblikovanju in seveda hvala tudi vsem vam, ki ste poslali prispevke. Na tretjem mestu se po navadi zahvalim vodstvu doma za financiranje tiskane revije Kavč, ker pa je zaradi koronavirusa to že druga e-revija, bom rekel samo lep pozdrav. Upam, da si boste vzeli nekaj minut časa zase in uživali ob napisanem.
Lep pozdrav, Rok
»Pišem, da bi lahkópozabil, zaspal.
Mehko je žensko telo.
Zapit pod svetilko sem stal.« (Menart)
Ker, iskreno povedano, ne vem točno kako bi povedal kaj pametnega in optimističnega v teh norih časih ne da bi zraven zvenel klišejsko in populistično, sem se odločil raje napisati kratko razmišljanje o pisanju samem.
Prve asociacije ob teh verzih? Pisanje kot ventil. Kot povabilo blagi pozabi, naj že enkrat evtanazira moreče spomine in misli, ki se kot paraziti zažirajo v meso zavesti in ji ne dajo miru. Pisanje kot intima; kot raziskovanje. Pisanje kot omama. Kot močna pijača, ki uspava misli, da se umirijo. Pisanje kot terapija.
Priporočljivo je sicer, da ima človek vsaj eno osebo, ki ji lahko zaupa vse skrbi in doživetja, pred katero lahko kot kirurg seciraš svojo dušo in iščeš bolne dele tkiva, ki jih je potrebno odstraniti ali pa pozdraviti. In ta oseba posluša, resnično posluša, in nazadnje svetuje kako naj se zašiješ nazaj, da bo kljub neizogibnim brazgotinam tkivo duševnosti funkcionalno in močnejše kot prej.
Včasih pa je naš najbolj zvest zaupnik prazen list in nalivnik naš najzanesljivejši poslušalec. Včasih ni možno spregovoriti s človekom, ni možno z njim deliti najbolj temačnih odtenkov naših misli, ki neoblikovane in nenadzorovane gomazijo po naši (pod)zavesti. Zdi se mi, da ta »včasih« nastopa med obdobjem karanten(e) in splošne sterilnosti (rok in medosebnih stikov) pogosteje in bolj silovito. Delno zaradi omejitev zbiranja, delno zaradi otopelosti, je včasih težko najti pogled, ki bo razumel in besedo, ki bo zdravila. Zato Te, dragi sotrpin, vabim, da si drzneš poprijeti za pero in izliti svojo dušo na papir, da si drzneš izpovedati breme, ki te kot Sizifa teži dan na dan. Nihče ne zahteva da je dobro napisano in nihče ne bo napisanega ocenjeval. Pomembno je, da si iskren in da pustiš Besedi, da si sama izbere obliko, najsi bo to zgodba, razmišljanje, pesem ali pa celo molitev. Kajti ko enkrat ubesediš svoje skrbi in strahove, se ne morejo več nenadzorovano plaziti po tvojih mislih in okuževati vsega na svoji poti – z besedo jih natančno definiraš in trdno zvežeš ter izženeš za zmeraj.
Pavel Mušič
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